Some of the experts on parenting are of the view that parents are supposed, to be honest with their feelings, especially if they feel out of control or cannot seem to resolve the parental issues. However, if you expect to be always in the good mood or parenting to be easy, you may be disappointed, as it requires hard work. For instance, children can give you tough time over power wheel. It has been noticed that when parents try to suppress the negative emotions, it can make them upset or may contribute in losing the temperamental control. This means that if you know that children throw tantrums, and by preparing yourself, the problems or tension can be prevented. Following tips will help you to remain honest while you parent the children.
“Being authentic” does not mean Anger
This is not to say that anger cannot be expressed, however, if you take the meaning of being authentic as someone who can express negative feeling anytime, it may make the kids respond to you in the equally negative tone. The idea is to articulate how you feel only when the children are ready to listen. For instance, if you try to communicate your concerns when the children are tired or doing something else, you may not be heard and it may make you feel down.
Identify the Feelings
If you feel frustrated, try to figure out the primary cause of the problem rather than taking out the anger on your children. For instance, if it is the work-related problem, you can try to sort it out outside the home or talk to the relevant person. The main point is that if your problem has got nothing to do with home, try to maintain your good mood at home.
Being Honest with oneself
Some of the people tend to overlook their feelings and hesitate to be honest with self before they can apply the same rule with children. This means that if you are feeling confused or if you are having trouble with children, try to be honest with yourself so that you will not get unfair or lose the control over your temperament. Similarly, if one of the habits of your child annoys you, ask yourself if you do the same or if you are pushing the limits of patience in your child.
Lenient Parenting Style
Being too harsh on kids is detrimental for their growth; however, if you are too lenient, it can also encourage kids to take advantage of the limits set by the parents. Therefore, there is need to supervise children in a moderate way. For instance, if you think you are not able to give children adequate time, you can look for help rather than leaving them unsupervised or love-deprived. In other words, being lenient can be good if you raise them to respect the value of it and stop them from overstepping boundaries.
Time to Calm Down
If you think that giving time to children to regain sense after losing temperament is not good, you may want to talk to those parents who have been successful at applying this strategy. Of course, you will be inclined to react right away or may want to stop the child from expressing negative feeling; however, if you do not give the child space, it can aggravate the situation further. Hence, if you allow the children to calm down and do it with yourself, it will create an environment of respect and sensibility.
Rubbing it on the Face
It is okay if you talk to the child about the misbehavior, however, if you use this opportunity to rub the mistakes of children on their face, it will make the situation complex than it actually it is. Experts believe that you should try to work on the communication so that you can directly convey your concerns. Similarly, being able to find the right time is another point that can make it easy for you to handle hard situations.
Having Heart to Heart
Some of the parents think that children are too young for having real conversations; however, if one takes into account the viewpoint of those who treat children like human beings capable of having good conversations, it can make a big difference, as it can improve the relationship between the parent and child. The main purpose is to share you experience with children so that they can learn from it. Similarly, it will help you to know more about the world of children.
Telling the children truth especially when it comes to the feedback and progress of children, as it can give the motivation to strive for bigger goals. If you are not telling the children about their weak areas, they may not be able to correct it. This does not mean you are supposed to be critical when it is not required, but if you are not truthful, it will not help children with progress and learning.
Alternative Options for Parents
If you use powerless when you get angry, you can go to the anger management centers. Similarly, if it is something between you and the child, you can discuss or follow the tips that can guide your talk in the right direction. Moreover, if you can sort the deeply embedded causes, it will help to make the complex situations easy. Focusing your mindset on viewing things differently is another technique.
Power of Actions
If you are interested in influencing the behavior of the children, the best approach is to set a good example, for instance, if you do not show patience and tolerance when something bothers you, you should not expect children to do so. In other words, you will have to make your behavior good if you want children to grow up in a certain way. If you are honest with children in your interaction and when you deal with outsiders, your children will learn from it even when you think they are not noticing.